Everybody Deserves a little Chive!

Well

I was going to give up for the day, but things are starting to get exciting.

As I was contemplating what to do with my day, I thought; I should ride my bike. I looked outside and realized that wasn't going to happen...

and the thought hit me....

MAYBE it is time to break out the rollers!

What a horror show, a towel under the bike, one on the bike. Me in shorts and a base layer for sweat. Movie in the DVD....

and an hour of "hippo on a tightrope"

JESUS!!! and I'm considering it... Maybe I should just go eat some pie!

There it was...

There it was, for a brief moment I was inspired. My Muse had me Firmly in it's grips as I day dreamed in front of the T.V., this morning.

And then it Slipped Away.

Befuddled... let me look that up. Yep

Befuddled, this posed deteriorates into this:

My diet is crazy right now. I seem to be living on oranges and Coffee with EggNog as a Creamer. I'd best take a Multivitamin. But I've been feeling Very good... so don't knock it till you try it.Ok, I get some Soup in there somewhere.

This Book has been torturing me for Months, I'm having Brief glimpses of brilliance, followed by periods of "my life interfering with consistent Meditative Focused Thought, to the point where I want to do that little thing where you place your index finger across and between your lips and make a sound similar to the one Twiggy made on the 1980's buck Rogers. bdbabudabuda...

Truth is before I get into anything but the roughest of drafts, I have got to learn how to write.

I just want to confess, I spent a lot of time sleeping in English Class. Sentence structure on the Written page, makes me confused. I've become a huge fan of just using random Punctuation!!

There is a book somewhere right? and Idiots guide to writing? or Fundamentals of punctuation? Honestly if someone Literate could point me in a direction. I would very much appreciate it.

Well, that is it for"Today in the life of my Colon and other such Ramblings".

Music

I say this all the time:

Most the blogs I post to, I only interface through the blogger dashboard. I can go months without going to the Actual page.

when I do:

Suddenly I'm all "DAMN!!! SOMEBODY HAS GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC!!"

Useless facts

... I found this site.

301 Useless facts, but interesting. I do wonder; Why I find them interesting.

• 6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn’t digest itself.
• 10. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.
• 12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.
• 14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
• 21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar
• 22. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
• 29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day
• 34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape
• 43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON’T TRY IT, DUMBASS)
• 53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That’s more than sharks.
• 54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday.
• 57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
• 61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.
• 65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original “Halloween” was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget.
• 67. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
• 73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from.
• 80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.
• 81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
• 90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
• 91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
• 104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.
• 110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury.
• 117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
• 131. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
• 132. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse’s legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
• 138. Almonds are members of the peach family.
• 147. “101 Dalmatians” and “Peter Pan” are the only Disney animations in which both of a character’s parents are present and don’t die during the movie.
• 149. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.
• 187. Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes.
• 220. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
• 254. People say “bless you” when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.
• 259. The bestselling books of all time are The Bible (6billion+), Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tung (900million+), and The Lord of the Rings (100million+)
• 266. Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol
• 291. Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died.
• of course the most charming fact would be that the list of facts is probably more urban legend

No rest for the Wicked

Was it only one week ago that Tiger woods drove his car into a tree and it started a week of Gavel to gavel coverage.

On Fridays, I'm completely exhausted.... in a way you would have no idea. I could catch a nap at about 3pm, but then I'd wake up at like 9pm and then climb the walls till about 9am then fall back asleep. Or I try and drag it out, problem is I tend to just be too exhausted to sleep, either that or it's that last cup of coffee. I fall asleep then wake up at the Great and Productive hour of 3am on saturday morning!!!!

Seriously, I'd fucking Kill to sleep in Until 7 or 8 am.

I of course have decided that all my Tiger news will come from Apple news Daily from Taiwan, who do computer reenactment and have funny sentence structure.

Seems like Tiger is learning a sort of MC hammer lesson, about how there is a point you become a lottery ticket for everyone around him. The Extra Funny part is that aparentley Tiger had a deam about Rachel and her having a 3 some with Derik Jeter and David Boreanez.... Doesn't that seem like a Fantisy she would have, and not him...

I guess it's possible that the Dream was that she had sex with them Separately, but in the mind of the Chinese, these Hollywood types are crazy. It's hard to argue!

Here is the Newest!

TIger Woods

I'm about ready to turn the news off. I mean Forever, or at least until this Tiger Woods obsession is over... I don't mean to hope for war or something, but is the news this fucking slow.

I just don't feel like I need an update every hour about where tiger's dick has been.

The real problem is I spend my day reading and watching news. So update 7 on tiger after hour 7 of my news day... is a little much..

ok that is all I can stand to blog.

Somebody said "well you aren't a golf fan"... I'm a cycling fan, and I REALLY don't give a shit who Lance or floyd are fucking... Hell I barely care what poisons they are ingesting, to make themselves better.

1 down 2 to go

Well, the first holiday is tomorrow. Yipeee...

eh... I had a whole whine I was going to work up.. I think I'd rather lay down and take a shower or something..

Ramblings

Ugh.... I feel like hell. Maybe I've got something again....

I've whined about it before, but Fridays aren't my day.... and after struggling fitfully for 24 hours... I still feel like crap.

I could use a good cry... that sounds pathetic... and probably is.

Well, I think I'll try and drink a gallon of water and see if it makes me feel better...

hoping the problem is all the cookies and soda I've been drinking... ya... I know, and even I can't explain it.....