I find myself

Since I refuse to take the time to "Proof Read" or even Re Read...

Ya... Sorry... that would take even more of the time I don't actually have.

Just wanted to point out that... As the Turbo lovefest continues... or as I filled out the form yesterday... my current obsession with Turbo's post, would have been a better answer for current obsession.

It's hard to restate, But Ryan I'm not saying you should do one thing or another. or that one reality is Real... Maybe reality is coming to terms with "Where you are"... Wherever that is.

Right ... What is one of my bullshit sayings...... No matter where you go...... There you are..... and that is the reality...

That is the Enigma of what I'm Getting at...

It's like my situation on the bike, I'm getting there.... I'm improving every few weeks.... Everything hurts. My improvement has been Solid.... I should be super happy about it... But still I'm Fucking slow, and "Real Riders" drop me like I'm a rock... ok like I'm a wet rag(I have no idea what the hell that means). But I'm not being outriden by girls, or Weekend warriors for the most part... I feel like I'm coming into (some kind of)form.

So the Reality of it is that I should be happy and satisfied and if I just keep going I'll get stronger and get where I want to be....... But.... then there is the side of me that is unhappy about not being strong enough to stay on just about anyone's wheel, and even drop a few "Strong" riders.

One is the reality of where I am, One is the Illusion of Where I want to be. Then there is also the Reality of how far I've come this season....

Reality Vs. the Illusion.... But the truth is... I'm aware of all of it... Without that Lucidity... I'd have no hope, no chance.... I'd just be spinning my wheels.

Ok... that is it with my bullshit obsession....

Banter Pluss....

In my mind this played out like a Turbo Love fest.... and I saw a post on his blog.

So. Ryan posts a post, the Jist of it is "Struggling with Reality". Let me just say Reality is fungible, 90%+ if not 99% of us are Clueless, I'm not even that "high on my own shit" so say that I'm in the 1%... If you asked me, I'd say the great struggle for all of us is with Reality. And yet the most functional of us, don't struggle at all, and proceed through their delusions for all of their lives.


I guess that is to say... Reality is overrated!

Realize, I drank a couple beers Post 'The Black Keys' and my last beer was in the spring, and the one before that was in the fall. Not that I'm going Straight edger, but it's part of my new thing... As well part of it is to "not be a Zealot".. Cause there is nothing like a Zealot!! But thanks to the T-Bird for the Black Keys.... but I'm fairly sure I gave him Bob Log III... So Even....

Now that that is cleared up, What some of you don't know.... I'd imagine that there would be some supposition about "What happened to 'The Mop'" .... Was it about "the broom" or about "something else" or Just my desire to fade back into the Nether Regions.... and even writing this paragraph is about as narcissistic as I can get, without vomiting.

What I'm getting at, is that Ryan's post reminded me about What happened. I don't talk to people... my life is that of a monk, and a friend of mine drank coffee with me till about 5am, me shooting espresso till I started sweating out of the back of my knees. During that conversation It just occurred to me that my life needed to change. There is sort of a point at about 24 when you realize you need to Get a Life, and it seems like in your 30's you realize... your going to lose your life. Therefore it's time to Get off your ass, and live your life. That is where I hit, in the shower, sweating out the back of my Knees. It was time to work on being whatever it was I could be, and to fight for my potential.


I guess here I am.... sort of on the other side of that at this point.... I'm sort of Bloody, sort of Scarred.... Like the phoenix Born of fire..... here I am again... Still Haunted, and Nagged. Still Suffering, still fighting. What is it that is Born of the Ashes of that fire? I don't' know.... We are still working on that.... me, The Mop, The Max, Batman, and the Wolverine!.... Still working on Being a Better person, still working on enlightenment...... Always there is "The work". But There is now a new Lucidity to me... It's painful, and I live with stress and on the edge about 110 hours a week. It's nasty and hateful, and it get's ugly..... I can say, that for a large part, I can be a very unpleasant person to be around!

I had a friend struggling with Reality...... I asked Which is it that you struggle with? 'The Great and secret show' or 'The great work'? That is sort of a Clive Barker Reference... I'd explain it, but I'd have to kill you!... The difference is for you to ponder...

But to me... it's not those that Struggle with Reality that you should worry about, it's those who don't have the sense to struggle with it.

these days... I tend to assess people based on.... "do they walk a Razors edge"... the edge between Trickery and divinity... Between the great Illusion, and those glimpses of reality that sometimes seem so fleeting.... Those are the good people...

It's that struggle, it's those people that I think are 'the great ones'...... everyone else just tends to have their head up their ass!

You want the Truth.... You can't handle the truth!!!

Well Now

Kelly threw out a tag.... and some hidden part of me loves a tag... but I can't admit it.... except that I sort of just did. and she probably doesn't read the blog. and even if she did she wouldn't admit it.... and it's been lame these days...

Trying to generate some momentum to check out the black Keys.... I mean.. I never leave the house except to grocery shop and ride the bike.

1. What is my current obsession? Riding my bike. Also Thomas Paine, Gordon Ramsay... Ya... we all have tons to answer for, but Gordon does cool stuff like raises pigs in is urban garden, to teach his kids where food comes from, and then they eat them, after caring for them for months.
   
2. What do you hate that everyone else seems to love? Bank Stocks, Jones Brothers, American Idol, America's got tallent. Michael Jackson.
3. What are you Wearing today? Shorts T-Shirt... same as it ever was.
4. What is for dinner? Probably a salad... tough thing, I need more roughage.
5. What would you eat for your last meal? Wings!!! In fact, I'd like to die by hotwing!
6. Last thing I bought? Groceries, almost got a gatorade on a ride but couldn't find the cash in my pack.
7. What am I listening to right now? The TV switched over to the Yoga, as schedualed... which I never do. but the TV is too far away to get to.
8. What do you think of the person who tagged me? Kelly has a Great honest way about her. she didn't really tag me...
9. If you could have a house fully paid for and totally funrished where woudl it be? I'd like a nice Cabin, or a Beach house.
10. If I could go anywhere in the next hour... Where? Nice 80-90 deg beach ...
    
11. What is one of my hobbies? Gardening. Tinkering.... I always wanted to Cooper, 200 years ago I'd have been a cooper.
12. What is your favorite quote? I can't say it... first thing that came to mind is a Bukowsky quote.....
13. Favorite color? Blue... Dark Blue
14. Favorite piece of clothing... I have a dark green Fleece
15. Dream job? I was thinking about being a bar fly a few days ago, I was a Trout Bum for 6 months
16. describe your personal style? I'm caught in 90's grunge... need to move on... but how?
17. Favorite tree? I have this great Pagoda tree. Throws this huge Canopy of shade.
18. What am I going to do after this? Kit up
19. Favorite fruit? I eat a ton of apples... but an in season Mango is out of control... but you have to go to asia.
20. What inspires you? I'm not sure I know the inspiration you talk of... I like being Curious about new things. Maybe its a tell about me. but I'm unrepairable.
21. Who was athe last person I kissed? There was this woman I was dating till about christmas.
    
22. What are you currently reading?Working on Homer.. been working on it through 6 other books and for about a year.
23. go to my bookshelf take first book down with red binding turn to 26 type first line: Rumpled and sun roasted, graham didn't look like a federal investigator
24. What delighted you the most today. eh....
25. if your life had a theme song, what would it be. Can't think of one
26. if you bought a wiener dog today, what would you name it? George
27. what is the character trait or habit of yours that you inherited from one of your parents? Ability to make things more complicated than they need to be.

ok... have to ride the bike and convince myself to get out and see the world ... and be asshole to elbo with all the other nutjobs at Galvin.

Mid season

Feels like midseason meltdown. All kinds of sideways...... Momentum. from everyone...

My booring Pink Floyd story

I was up for this job with this sound company MANY years ago! And on the job site I heard Pink Floyd Division Bell.

I said, "Jesus this is crap, Floyd really hasn't done anything since roger waters left. Not that the stuff Roger waters is turning out is anything to write home about."

The guy I was trying to schmooze said. "Well I put it on, and I think it's some of the best stuff they have ever done!."'

Ya....

1. Piper
2. Meddle
3. Animals
4. Saucer
5. everything with Waters, but the wall was the last great album, and it is more obvious that I like. but great if you are 16.
6. everything post waters till 90(TO be honest Final cut and Momentary)
7. then Whatever Bullshit they published after 1990

They umn... didn't give me any work.

Tired

Everything has me Worked, I kicked the workouts up a notch again.... to the point I need to think about the Long routes, but also doing serious watage durring the week. doing some form of climb with my ride, or putting in solid distance....

During the week.

Leaving at 5 and coming back at 7 or 8 at night is a thing.... something to adjust too.

Saw and talked to a Charming Young lady yesterday.... reminded me of part of why I do this... Not that being healthy isn't it's own reward.

but... I'm worked.. Need some down time.... Probably still going to ride but....

see.. now

if I do a set of whining I can be found.... Ugh... Went out to Camp williams, that road is full of construction....

and it was painful.... at one point this is going to stop hurting.... I used to have so much more base....

I look down and suddenly it's 10 miles and I start dragging.... Which is why we do the longer distances right....

but shit....

I did find some improved Routes to get out there.... it just seems like everything is under construction...

Wall Climbing Spiderman!!!

Trying to get out and do some riding, I'm tempted to ride downtown, Not sure I want to ride that section of the parkway that the "Weird dudes use". But that slow distance would be a good target for the day.

This Twitter thing.... hell of a distraction, I'd love to sit and read a book today. I just tend to have more to say than one can fit in 140 CHR.

and yet here I am, and I have nothing.

my easiest route

View Larger Map

One of my routes

View Larger Map

There is one hill that one can avoid by using 7800 instead of 6200 s.

It puts the lotion on it's skin!

that is what twitter is like!

I'm working through it, it's a thing...

Long hard ride. there is this section of town that has decided round-abouts are better than stoplights..... I guess, but it's like 4 right turn lanes.

I caught a draft today. It was only for .1 of a mile, had to drop him. Figured it would look funny me in my kit, him in a boyscout Uniform. Did I mention he was pulling a larger gear than I was.... so he LT'd himself out fairly quick.

it was one of those hard rides, went on forever... but it's that much closer to Butterfield canyon and real rides

Judd Gregg

Judd gregg was just on the news talking about Healthcare, and how great private insurance is.....

IT BOTHERS THE SHIT out of me, that congress is completely full of shit, as they sit with the best health insurance in the world, the federal blue cross blue shield system.

Which is Ten times better than any insurance program you can get in the private sector. Not even covering that most insurance programs are in the business of Taking a Premium and never paying for Claims.

I guarantee that if Ted Kennedy was on any other insurance program in the private sector... he would be dead right now!

BUT what is good enough for them..... IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU..... RIGHT!!!

Judd Greg "Oh... it would be a disaster if we had a gov run program."..

OK JUDD... go get a better one from some non Federal insurance program then if it is so good! You are missing out on high quality health care......

Put your money where your mouth is you Hypocritical Prick!!

Jebus

Because of Le....Tour I have been caught up in the maddness of Le Twitter....

Look left and I guess you can Subscribe....

I'll do everything I can to not talk about my Colon.... Just to let you know... If I felt you were a close friend.... I would tell you about my colon...

I added a Don Henley song to the playlist, there are a few I like but New York Minute is about .... I just feel like I'd rather be listening to "The Cars"... if I want that stuff.

Quick Aside! when I skied... Ya I don't ski any more, I keep swearing I'll go cross Country... and maybe in a few years or something.... But I used to ski at Solitude every weekend when I could do it for $12. But I had my walkman and inside was "the Cars"... Mostly!

I feel good, Legs are messing with me, lots of minor pain....

Funny, I just checked the playlist to kill dead song links. Started playing the play list, I was like "Damn! somebody built a playlist that I Really Enjoy!... of course... that would be me...